If you read the (not so well) documented blogs of the third season with Team in Training, you will notice that my attitude and my belief in myself wasn't really there and it was obviously a very tough season for me to get through. Things turned for the better around a six weeks out. After a long, thoughtful session, I realized that to finish this marathon, I needed to do it for myself. I couldn't run it for Kristina, I couldn't run it to show others that I could do it... I had to do it for MYSELF... and that I was the only person in the way of finishing.
I had a lot of incredible support through the training of the race -- people who were believing in me before I believed in myself. There are a number of different runs where I really didn't think I could do it - and I thought about dropping to the half or even just dropping out totally. But once I realized that I had to finish for myself (and obviously the mission), my attitude was adjusted and I did it for myself and by myself.
The last six weeks of training went incredibly well. I skipped 18 miles and jumped right to 20 and then pushed it to 22 the week that everyone else did 20. Taking that extra step (or extra miles) proved to me that I was incredibly trained (love you kevin) and that I was ready, both physically and mentally.
Leading up to the race, mentally I was prepared. I tapered well and as the race approached and we traveled to San Fran, I just wanted to do it (which was totally appropriate considering it was the Nike Women's Marathon). On race morning, I was pretty nervous but I had a text message in my head from Kev saying "you are perfectly prepared. you can do this".
I had that pit in the stomach feeling that I would get before a really long swim meet or practice -- you know that you are about to "go through hell" (had to throw the rocky in there) -- and that in a few hours I would think, man, did I really just run that much? And as soon as I crossed that start line I knew that this was going to be a good race.
Kristina and I stuck together through about the first 8 miles. She hurt her knee so she pulled back and did the half. Once I was on my own, I lost myself in my music and just enjoyed the ride. We ran up the cliffs of San Fran (Presidio), down through Golden Gate Park, out down the beach, around a lake and then finished along the beach.
In the last two marathons, I have always hit a wall - right around 15 or 16... but this time, there was no wall. I was singing, laughing and just enjoying myself. I can honestly say, I had runners high for the whole second half and it was freaking amazing. I cramped (for the first time ever on a run) at 22 and thankfully I had a coach who was there to help stretch me out and get me some electrolytes. It's funny because normally at 22, I would just be like screw it, I will walk the rest of the way in, but all I wanted to do was keep running. I was like Forrest Gump -- I just wanted to run.
The last two miles were running alongside the beach and it was BEAUTIFUL. I remember looking out and thinking to myself - this is how it should feel. This is why I did so many pushups and ladders with Kevin. This is how it should be -- I should feel happy and proud of myself and my hard work. And I did. Oh and as I crossed the finish line, eye of the tiger was playing (I didn't hear it, I had Stronger on my ipod, which also fit -- "What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger") -- but seriously, could there be a better song for me to run into? Oh and I got some love from the announcer which was cool too.
After the last few marathons I haven't really felt a sense of accomplishment after finishing. But this time I did. Maybe it was because it was only me out there... and there was nobody to hold me up. Nobody to find or be my strength when I needed it. I had to rely on myself and for the first time in years - I was able to. I didn't just stand on my own two feet - I stood on them and ran 26.2 miles. And for that - I am DAMN proud.
As for future marathons - now I am excited to do another one. I want to run. I know I need time off -- and I plan to take it. I won't train for another marathon until 2010 and even then I am not sure which one or when I will do it. I just want to enjoy having my Friday nights and Saturday mornings back and to be "normal" for a bit. This was a long and rocky ride, but it was worth it and I am so proud of myself.
And on another AMAZING note - the Nike Women's Marathon raised over $14 MILLION for LLS!!! HOLY CRAP!!! That means that each mile that we ran was worth almost $500,000. Not too bad for a bunch of chicks running on a Sunday. $14 MILLION.
