Sam I Can

Well... I did it again. And I did it right this time.

If you read the (not so well) documented blogs of the third season with Team in Training, you will notice that my attitude and my belief in myself wasn't really there and it was obviously a very tough season for me to get through. Things turned for the better around a six weeks out. After a long, thoughtful session, I realized that to finish this marathon, I needed to do it for myself. I couldn't run it for Kristina, I couldn't run it to show others that I could do it... I had to do it for MYSELF... and that I was the only person in the way of finishing.

I had a lot of incredible support through the training of the race -- people who were believing in me before I believed in myself. There are a number of different runs where I really didn't think I could do it - and I thought about dropping to the half or even just dropping out totally. But once I realized that I had to finish for myself (and obviously the mission), my attitude was adjusted and I did it for myself and by myself.

The last six weeks of training went incredibly well. I skipped 18 miles and jumped right to 20 and then pushed it to 22 the week that everyone else did 20. Taking that extra step (or extra miles) proved to me that I was incredibly trained (love you kevin) and that I was ready, both physically and mentally.

Leading up to the race, mentally I was prepared. I tapered well and as the race approached and we traveled to San Fran, I just wanted to do it (which was totally appropriate considering it was the Nike Women's Marathon). On race morning, I was pretty nervous but I had a text message in my head from Kev saying "you are perfectly prepared. you can do this".

I had that pit in the stomach feeling that I would get before a really long swim meet or practice -- you know that you are about to "go through hell" (had to throw the rocky in there) -- and that in a few hours I would think, man, did I really just run that much? And as soon as I crossed that start line I knew that this was going to be a good race.

Kristina and I stuck together through about the first 8 miles. She hurt her knee so she pulled back and did the half. Once I was on my own, I lost myself in my music and just enjoyed the ride. We ran up the cliffs of San Fran (Presidio), down through Golden Gate Park, out down the beach, around a lake and then finished along the beach.

In the last two marathons, I have always hit a wall - right around 15 or 16... but this time, there was no wall. I was singing, laughing and just enjoying myself. I can honestly say, I had runners high for the whole second half and it was freaking amazing. I cramped (for the first time ever on a run) at 22 and thankfully I had a coach who was there to help stretch me out and get me some electrolytes. It's funny because normally at 22, I would just be like screw it, I will walk the rest of the way in, but all I wanted to do was keep running. I was like Forrest Gump -- I just wanted to run.

The last two miles were running alongside the beach and it was BEAUTIFUL. I remember looking out and thinking to myself - this is how it should feel. This is why I did so many pushups and ladders with Kevin. This is how it should be -- I should feel happy and proud of myself and my hard work. And I did. Oh and as I crossed the finish line, eye of the tiger was playing (I didn't hear it, I had Stronger on my ipod, which also fit -- "What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger") -- but seriously, could there be a better song for me to run into? Oh and I got some love from the announcer which was cool too.

After the last few marathons I haven't really felt a sense of accomplishment after finishing. But this time I did. Maybe it was because it was only me out there... and there was nobody to hold me up. Nobody to find or be my strength when I needed it. I had to rely on myself and for the first time in years - I was able to. I didn't just stand on my own two feet - I stood on them and ran 26.2 miles. And for that - I am DAMN proud.

As for future marathons - now I am excited to do another one. I want to run. I know I need time off -- and I plan to take it. I won't train for another marathon until 2010 and even then I am not sure which one or when I will do it. I just want to enjoy having my Friday nights and Saturday mornings back and to be "normal" for a bit. This was a long and rocky ride, but it was worth it and I am so proud of myself.

And on another AMAZING note - the Nike Women's Marathon raised over $14 MILLION for LLS!!! HOLY CRAP!!! That means that each mile that we ran was worth almost $500,000. Not too bad for a bunch of chicks running on a Sunday. $14 MILLION.

Rough Waters

Since the last post it's been a little rough - more mentally than physically. As I mentioned in the last one, it hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows (please note the Rocky reference). After getting back from San Fran, we've had 2 group runs. The first one was a 14 mile run down on the DC waterfront (Mt Vernon trail, Virginia side) and then the most recent one yesterday, we were at Pierce Mill.

I'm not sure if the first one was because the location of the run is a tough one for me or if it was just because it was hot, but it was an impossible day for me. The location is tough because that is where I first started to run when I first started this journey. I've taken wrong turns (yes I realize there aren't many turns on the route, but I ended up over a bridge that has no running connections) and it was a big part of running on my own. There have been a lot of times that I have run and turned around and not made it to my goal destination because I've been mentally exhausted. Going into that weekend, the bad runs stuck out more than the good ones and it weighed heavily on me and in turn it pushed my mental attitude in the wrong direction.

Before the run even started, I was thinking negatively and the one thing I have learned is that negative thinking is NOT good for me and that the only way for me to be successful and happy is to be positive (well, lets be honest here folks, I am still trying to learn this). Anyway, from the first step onto the trail I wanted to quit and I let the negative thoughts take over. I remember running past the airport thinking to myself "I can't do this" -- and those are words that I have never actually said. Yes, I have wondered if I CAN do it, but never have I thought that I actually CAN'T. This scared the crap out of me -- I know I can do this... I've done it twice before for goodness sakes! I don't know what bug bit me that day and infected me since then, but its somehow stayed with me -- but ONLY when running.

I ended up finishing about 11 miles that day but I walked a little bit and made Kristina go ahead (which again is something that I've never done... more about that later).

This weekend we had a rest week that was at Pierce Mill - usually a good location for me, but as soon as those negative thoughts came in, they killed my run. It's funny to me because although I feel like crap and that I am running slow and painfully, I looked at my time from the day and I am actually running faster than I did last season - even with the mental breakdowns! I am NOT doing that poorly - I just think that as soon as I feel tired or thirsty or anything other than good, I let it take me over. I see Kristina training differently during the week and then I see her stronger and happier while training and I psych myself out. It is totally mental and I need to figure out HOW to get over it. I know this is not a competition and I need to stop doing this to myself, but for some reason I just am having trouble. Because of these two runs, I have, for the very first time in almost two years, thought of giving up. It kills me to write that but I would be lying if I said otherwise. Somehow I need to figure out how to get back to where I was three weeks ago. I know I have it physically - now I just need to break through this mental barrier.

Maybe this mental block that I am fighting right now is actually a good thing. Maybe if I can break through this, I wont hit that wall when I am racing. Maybe I just need to figure out how to just push through one more time. Over the last year I have figured out how to become stronger while not running, now maybe if I can figure out how to do this in a situation that challenges me than it will be that last piece of the puzzle in making myself to where I need to be. I don't know... but I know I don't want to give up. I have pushed through during that run on Haines Point and I want to do it again - and the only person who can do it is me.

Testing the waters...

It's been a while since I posted (a month!) and we are well into our training by now. It is funny - each marathon that I run have been drastically different -- from the mental and the physical standpoint. The first one that I ran, I relied on others to get me through mentally and physically. The second one, I was stronger and more independent, both as a runner and as a person. Now with this one, I am kind of like Nike -- Just doing it. I haven't let it take over my life and when it comes to the training, it is just another day that I have to workout. I haven't really taken much time to think about what's ahead each week and this past weekend was the first time that I actually thought to myself about the race -- and that is most likely because I was in San Francisco!

To catch up - I am about 2 months in to this program. Kris and I have had some great runs -- we have kicked Fletcher's ass a few times, gone around the capital (boooring) and run in a few different places -- and the great thing is, with each one, I am feeling stronger. I think the difference this time is that I am NOT solely focusing on running. I am working with an amazing trainer at South Arlington who is pushing me to my limits each time (HUGE Shout out to Kevin!) and he is not focusing on the marathon - he is just focusing on making me a "bad ass". I am really feeling stronger, not only when I run, but all the time. My arms are stronger, my core is stronger and I am just feeling better overall.

From a mental standpoint I had a huge breakthrough two weeks ago. We were doing 12 miles, starting from Hanes Point, running to Fletchers and then back (we ended up running the opposite as everyone else because we had to leave from the water stop). The run itself went great - it was a beautiful day and both Kris and I felt very strong. At the end of the run, we had to go out 3/4 of a mile and back on a very flat and lonely portion of Hanes Point / Ohio Drive to complete the mileage. At this point, the sun was high and hot and there really wasn't anyone out there. It would have been very easy for us to just stop, but we both agreed that we needed to complete the run.

Now, one of the things that Kristina, Kristin and Charlie have all said to me is that they want to get "cycle sam" out while running. When I am teaching, it is easy to motivate others and to believe in others. When it comes to running, I have never been able to believe in myself and to push myself the way I can in the classroom. Kristin and Kristina both have said that if we can translate THAT part of me into my runs, it will make a huge difference, but I just have never been able to do that.

So during that first 3/4 mile stretch, I can honestly say it was one of the longest and hardest runs I have ever done. I was hot, tired and just mentally ready to quit - but instead of thinking to myself, not necessarily to fail, but more so with the thought that I suck at this and why on earth do I do this crap, I started to think to myself, "You CAN do this. This is nothing. Hold on - you can do this." -- and I pushed myself through. I was able to make the switch in my thoughts to believe in myself - and it was a big deal to me. It may sound silly, but being stronger on a mental level and thinking back to where I was last year at this time is a big accomplishment! :)

Anyway - back to the running - this past weekend I had a very special training run -- Kristina and I were able to get 11 miles of the San Fran marathon route under our belts. I met Kris out in SF on Thursday night and we spent the weekend in the city, checking out the sights (the food!) and the route. Friday morning we did a 3 mile run by the bay bridge and past the stadium and then on Saturday we hammered out just under 8 miles around the Golden Gate bridge portion of the route.

This was HANDS DOWN the most beautiful run I have ever been on. The weather was PERFECT, and there was just a little fog that was lifting as we began the run, making the bridge look incredible. I debated on bringing my camera, but I stupidly decided not to because I didn't want to carry it for that long - -and now I am regretting it.

I remember as we were running right below the bridge of how incredibly lucky I am to have this type of opportunity - not just this past weekend, but also with everything that TNT has done. I know I've bitched a lot this season about the responsibilities that I've undertaken, but it is that memory in my head of the absolute beauty that I got to see -- and see it on foot, feeling strong, and enjoying myself -- made it worth every bagel I've picked up. Although not every training will feel this good or be this pretty, I must remember how far I've come since I started this running thing two years ago, and how much further I am going to go.

Running isn't easy - but I am finally seeing a change. I am not sure if it is the additional training (I think that has a big thing to do with it) or if it is that I am just being a little more relaxed about the whole thing (it is not taking over my life)... but something is finally starting to give - and it feels pretty good.

Ok so here's the deal - I've decided to do another season with TNT. I am not going to lie - I was a little burnt out after the National marathon and then Nashville right after it -- but a nice relaxing vacation in Hawaii and then a great birthday weekend with my friends has rejuvinated me and I am back in action.

Kristina and I have been asked to serve as training captains for this season, and sharing this responsibility with my best friend has been great. Although our Friday nights are spent picking up bagels from Panera (the one on Duke Street in Alexandria is the best - thank you Panera!!! We love you!), but the training is going well.

We've had some strong training runs and we have been preparing ourselves for San Fran with a hill workout on a weekly basis. This past week was the first week that I haven't felt great because of slight IT band strain, but I am resting it and hope to be back to 100% by the weekend.

I am really excited that we are doing San Fran - I have a lot of family out there (shout out to Michelle, Ramsey, Hilary, John, Avril, and William!) so I hope that I will get to be able to spend some time with them, since I don't EVER get to see them anymore!

In addition, following the marathon we am going to drive down the coast and visit some old friends (Carl in LA!!!!!, Mere and Trev in San Diego and Julio in SD too!) so if you are in Cali and want a visit from me, let me know - I'll be around for a week!!! :)

As for fundraising, I know it is going to be tough this year - I have been SO lucky to have such generous friends and family members that asking them to donate is hard. I know that times are tough so I feel bad asking for donations AGAIN. So we are doing a lot of other things to raise money. Yesterday we spent six hours at Giant asking for donations and between five of us, we were able to raise just about $850 - not too shabby for a Sunday afternoon.

Thank you again for all your support -- you have no idea how much I appreciate it.

OOPS, I did it again!

I know it has taken a while for me to post about the race - things have been so incredibly hectic in my world that this is the first time that I've had a moment to really think and recap the events over the last week or so. My boss was in town last week, which took up the majority of the week -- and then all weekend I was busy so I haven't had a second to myself.

Anyway... so the marathon was AMAZING. I am having a lot of trouble accepting the accomplishment, but as the time passes, I am beginning to realize that it isn't about how FAST you run, but it is about the EXPERIENCE and the MEMORIES that unfold as you do it. I didn't run as fast as I wanted. I didn't run as WELL as I wanted. And I would by lying if in the 72 hours following the marathon that I cried a lot, felt jealous of everyone elses successes and didn't feel as if I accomplished anything. BUT again, as the time passes, and the pictures are posted, I realize that I was smiling (most of the time) and although I did hit the wall, I didn't give up. I didn't stop running. I DIDN'T WALK. Even though I didn't run as fast as I wanted, I DID run the whole time and I have to be proud of what I did do, not what I didn't. I DID it on my OWN. I crossed the finish line with the help of a lot of people -- and as I did that, there was more support then I ever could have imagined. As we climbed up from 26.1 to 26.2, everyone else was finished and Barry and Kristin were waiting there, Chip ran us in and at the end, we had a huge group of our parents, Devin, and a great crew of TNT people just waiting for us to finish.

The end of the race sucked. It blew. I hit the wall at 19 as we crossed over into anacostia. As I have talked to the coaches since the run, they have given me a little running secret - the wall is in your head. I felt GREAT during the first 19, but when I hit that wall, I just didn't want to keep going. I seriously did not talk for the last 7 miles. NOT A FREAKING WORD. (So i guess the lesson here is that if you want me to shut up, make me run 19 miles! :) ) -- I guess I have to learn how to get over it -- but until I do, I have to give an ENORMOUS amount of credit and appreciation to Kristina. She was amazing. There were times that I remember looking at her, and pulling her hand and saying "Kristina, I need you" -- and she never left me. She could have gone on and run ahead, but she stayed with me EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. She did not let me quit and she did not let me stop running. When I was quiet, she kept me moving and motivated. SHE was the strong one and she was my heart when mine wanted to stop. SHE was my rock and I can't being to express how much it means to me.

With all this said, I want to take a second to recognize Kristina - her friendship has meant so much to me over the last five months. I started this journey for so many reasons and the one thing that I never expected to get out of this was someone who is such an amazing friend. They say in your life, that you will take away four or five friends that will be yours for the rest of your life no matter what. I am absolutely proud to add Kristina to that list. Each one of the girls has made a significant impact in my life and been friends with me through so much - and Kristina is one of those people. She is one of the kindest hearts I have ever met -- and even though she may not believe it, she is one of the STRONGEST that I have ever met too. She not only carried ME through five months of training, but she carried me through 26.2 miles. When you run, you train. When you train, you spend time with people - she learned the insides and outs of who I am, what I have been through and how much this has meant to me. She has listened to my tears, my complaints, my stupid jokes and bad music -- and she has helped me become a stronger and better person. She is not only a running partner, but she is freaking fun as crap too - we have so much fun together outside of running, which makes it so special. She really is the reason that itI am FUN SAM! Oh and did I forget to mention... SHE LOVES ROCKY. Seriously I mean, I knew we were going to be friends at "DO IT!"

Anyway, back to the race - I have a lot of fun stories from the race that I will share when I get some pics ... but just to highlight a few here (more details later!):
- We ran the first 13.1 with Michele and I felt like the luckiest person in the world - I had the two people in my life that helped me to this point running with me. I have never felt so supported in my entire life - I truly feel lucky to have people like Michele and Kristina in my life. There was no way in HELL they were going to let me fail.
- We did a cartwheel (you had no idea of my gymnastic skills!) at 17 miles in the 9th Street Tunnel. I will NEVER drive that road again with out thinking of that moment! I mean, really, who does a cartwheel after 17 miles in a tunnel? WE DO!
- We saw a crack bust at 19 - we stopped to pee at the Harbor Police Station and there was nobody in there -- and then a block down the road there were all the police and a dude on the ground handcuffed COPS style. It was awesome!
- We saw Julie and her son (BABY PINK NIKES) at 16-- and it was amazing. I started to cry (Imagine that)
-Seeing my parents and Kristina's parents on the course was amazing. :)
- The TNT Waterstop was AMAZING - I loved seeing all the CMM teammates out there cheering us on! I am going to post another directly after this one with an email that I wrote to Caitlin that explains why I heart TNT!
- The Howard University kids were amazing! They had music and were cheering their asses off!
- The feeling of crossing that finish line is the most amazing feeling in the world. Nothing will ever take that feeling away.

Anyway - I wanted to post a note to let everyone know I finished. More to come later. I am still decompressing from this whole thing... :)

Congratulations to me. Even though I am still trying to believe it, I am proud of myself.

I did it... again.

All your strength. All you power. All you HEART.

Last year when I ran with TNT, I spent the whole year with this huge fear of not being able to succeed --- not being able to finish -- with a huge fear of the unknown... I spent the entire time fighting this belief that I was attempting something that I was always told that I couldn't do. 

So I am just about a day out. ONE DAY. ONLY ONE DAY. It's funny because I just skimmed through the blogs of last year and I remember what I felt this time last year... and it is SO much different this year. The nerves are excitement. The scared feeling I had last year is now just being prepared and wondering how much fun we are going to have on the course. The question of finishing is now an answer - and it is YES. There is no doubt. 

I said at one point, last year I was playing against a team of the "Can'ts" -- and it totally took the fun out of the training and the race. The fear took over -- and that is something that in 18 years of competitive swimming I never let happen. I was WEAK last year -- and I depended on OTHERS to believe in myself. I know I was a headcase throughout the whole training and as much as I hate to admit it, it was probably the reason why Tom broke up with me.  But that is neither here nor there and really, at this point, who gives a nut?

But- - it is funny how life sometimes works. Michele and I were sitting at lunch on Tuesday and she and I were talking. We've been working together for about nine months and when we started, she was training for the Marine Corps... and I started to run with her. She and I ran through a lot of tears and she listened, wiped the tears, gave great advice and really helped me back. There are times when I look back thinking that life was just the worst thing possible and she would just say - one step in front of another. And it worked. So we were sitting there on Tuesday and we were talking about my training and how in three days I was going to be running this huge race. She said to me that she was surprised with how calm I was and how ready I seemed. The one thing that she said, that really meant the world to me, was that over the last three months, there has been such a positive lift in my attitude, my daily demeanor and just my outlook on life. 

Michele, the person who saw me at the lowest of lows, seeing such a change in me for the better, really means the world to me and it shows that this marathon is nothing like last years. This year, there is a totally different outlook. It  isn't about playing a game of the can'ts - it is about playing a game of the "I wills". I WILL beat this marathon. I WILL be okay. I WILL smile the entire time because I WILL know that with every step, every pain, every mile, I WILL be completing the final step in rediscovering what life is all about. I WILL have fun. I WILL finish. Oh and I WILL do it because I believe in ME!

And I can't talk about this change in me without the team. THE TEAM in Team in Training is what did this. This, along with the friendship and support from Michele on those crazy Wednesday mornings, is what has made this happen. Every Friday I looked forward to crazy craft nights at Kristina's (wow that does sound fun), decorating the head, going to dinner, bothering Kevin at Best Buy, or trying to see movies based off our lives (he's just not that into you) -- and then waking up on Saturdays to run in 10 degree weather. Picking up bagels from Breuggers and saying hi to Kathy the manager and then driving to whatever location we may be at. 

Birthday cakes for Mickey, Wedding cakes for Trish, silly heads, pots of gold, trips to buffalo, shitting my pants, bleeding nipples and jedi and his blinding speed, speakers to keep Margo and Hannah entertained, crazy bedazzaled visors, LEGWARMERS , Burgers and Beer at Nannys, wings at nannys- each moment, each "that's what she said joke", each email chain -- that is what makes this so special to me. It isn't about each of the miles that we've run each weekend, it is the relationships that we have developed and the fun that we've had. This team is more than just a team, we have become a family. Yes, a crazy, dysfunctional, silly, slightly incestuous family, but a family. A family that supports us when we feel week. One that will call you up if they know you've had a bad day. One that will just pack up and head to Baltimore because you have the day off.  One that believes that you can finish even when all you want to do it call a cab.

Anyway, with all this said, these people - I can't name them all because then it would take a while - are what have made ME a positive person again. And they are the reason why I will be smiling the WHOLE freaking time while I run the ENTIRE 26.2 on Saturday. Well -- I might not run the whole thing -- I might dance a few blocks too. :) 

GO TEAM. 

And thank you -- thank you for everything. 

Sunshine and Rainbows

So I got my bib number - #2626 -- and I am starting to be a little bit nervous. I do have to say that I am pretty excited about my number... I mean, #2626 -- I have decided I am going to run 26.26 -- just because it is such a great number. Special K is #2536 so look out for us! :)

We drove the race route last night -- and I am not going to lie, it is a little bit hilly. But with that said, nothing can be more hilly than Nashville last year. I think it will be incredibly beneficial that I am familiar with the route that we are running, and there is about a 6-7 mile stretch of road that we run on a regular basis, so that will be helpful. I do have to say that the route kind of kicks ass. We are running all through the streets of DC -- and it is going to be absolutely beautiful. The trees are just starting to bud and it should be a great day here in the city, so I am excited to be out there.

The route itself starts at RFK and we run to the Capitol and then down to constitution. We go up toward midtown and run down Connecticut Ave. We run through that area into Adams Morgan -- this section (from about 5-10) is rolling hills, but it will be fun because we run through Dupont... From there we go into an area I am not too familiar with, down by Children's Hospital and then back to RFK. From there we run the route on the Capitol again, to the Nats stadium and then into Anacostia... again, another area which I am not too familiar with. We do get to run through the 9th street tunnel, which sadly, really excited about! :) I guess there is something to be said about running through a tunnel...

With all this said, I am really trying to prepare my body and mind the best I can. I have done all the training, there is nothing more to do there. I am trying to eat well, get a lot of sleep and kick this horrific cold that I somehow caught (I blame Buffalo - wink wink). I am feeling better than I have before and I think two good nights of sleep have really done me well and I have totally cut out booze (I probably should have done that before). I am keeping my regular routine with spinning this week, although I did give up tomorrow morning's class so I could continue to catch up on my sleep and kick this cold.

Mentally, I am trying to get myself as prepared as possible. It is funny - I was talking to Mickey this week and you would think this is the part that I would be best at. I trained for months and months as a swimmer and I would do it all for 2 minutes and 15 seconds (or faster!!! :) ) So you would think that getting mentally prepared would be something I excel at -- I am trying really hard to get in the right mindset and not psych myself out. I think that is one thing that really hurt me last year -- was getting too wrapped up in the "if I can finish" -- I know I can finish. I know I can do this. I am stronger, more prepared then last year. And I have Kristina. She is going to be there EVERY step of the way. When I am mentally not there, she will be. And vice versa.

Today I sent out an email to the team with the "Monday Motivational Quote of the Day" to help get others ready -- it of course was a quote from Rocky (actually the one that is on this blog about going the distance with Creed) -- and it made me think -- this time it isn't about going the distance with Creed. Not that the quote by any means is lost on me, but really it isn't the one that sticks out in my head when I think about this experience.

Yes, it is about going the distance, but really this isn't (the first) Rocky. I've already fought Creed and for all purposes, I will consider it a draw -- just like the movie. And although this is not a rematch of the same fighter, it is another fight. And this time, I will win... (seriously I think I might need to stop watching these movies)

Anyway, at the beginning of the season, when Kristina and I first started running together, she sent me a quote (of course from Rocky!) and this quote has quickly become part of our mantra when we run -- and I think we can all relate to it...

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty
place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep
you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as
life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and
keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"

So with that said, my bib number is #2626. If you aren't busy on Saturday, come out and cheer us on. We will be the ones with a smile on our face, singing, dancing, oh and of course, running.

#2626 // #2536

Now with all that said, and not to be rude or offend anyone, but I plan on making the SunTrust National Marathon my bitch on Saturday.

WIN, SAM WIN.

I am taking the dog... DUMBASS

So we're almost done. ONE WEEK LEFT! AAAHHHH. I feel good, I am looking good (hehehe) and I am trying to run well. I am ready for this run! And I know that I will have a DAMN GOOD time doing it. I never thought I would say that I would look forward to running 26.2 miles, but I know Kristina and I will do it and do it well!!!! :) I keep saying it, but this year has been amazing. I have never had so much fun in my life... for example...

Last weekend we all went to buffalo -- just for shits and giggles. We went up to hang out with Mickey's family and do some bar hopping. After our run on Saturday (on the Cap Crescent trail and I got a massive case of the "tripps" and got really really sick... and apparently got the quote of the season as I finished with "Charlie I have to go... I am about to sh*t my pants. Mickey I will see you at the airport")

Anyway, we went up on Saturday after our run and then came back on Sunday... We had our special shirts on ($25 each, let me know if you want one -- they say: 26.2. Beer. Cancer. Three things that have no chance with TNT) and we had a loottt of fun...Mickey and his family got us a party bus and we ended up at 4 bars. Now granted, I don't remember one of them, but here are some photos....

So Buffalo was amazingly fun (MUAH MICKEY) and then we had our Bon Voyage for the Shamrock and National marathons. It was inspirational and got us all fired up and ready. Then this Thursday (yesterday) it was Special K (aka Kristina)'s birthday... and somehow a large, hair gorilla showed up at Cap City to sing her Happy Birthday and the Rocky Theme Song... And of course there was cake... mmm ... nothing is better than a good Birthday surprise. I do have to say that it was virtually impossible for me to keep the gorilla secret from Kristina. Poor Mickey had to hear me talking about it for the last five days... but he is such an amazing person that he didn't even let up if it bothered him.

As for this weekend, we are down to our last six... we are out at Reston and it should be a lot of fun. Kristina and I have a little surprise up our sleeves (er duct tape) and then it is really time to buckle down. We have to get ready and focus --- eating right, sleeping right and getting our heads together. It is game time. I feel like I am getting ready for a swim meet - we've done the work, our bodies are ready - the only thing left is finishing. And although it will be painful and suck ass while we are doing it, it will be the sweetest feeling crossing that finish line. Nothing in the world will feel as good as that will feel... because I am doing it by myself and FOR myself. This will be mine and nothing and nobody will be able to take this away from me. And as said in Legally Blonde... I am doing this myself - I am taking the dog DUMBASS.

The final countdown!

http://pages.teamintraining.org/nca/cmc09/sperry

I am at the "Final Countdown" of the marathon... I only have 3 weeks left and I am not going to lie, this totally just hit me about 5 minutes ago when I was on the phone with Michele. I can not believe how fast time has flown by... and how incredible of a journey this has been. I have met some AMAZING people that I know will be friends for life and I have been able to accomplish things that I really didn't think that I could do.

Even though I did it last year, this year is totally different. I know I have said it before, and I will say it again - this year is SO much better. SO much more fulfilling and it has truly saved my life... brought ME back. Again, I had a blast last year - Colleen made it incredibly special for me , but this year it has just been a totally different experience.

Anyway - enough of that - let's get to the 20 miles that I ran this past weekend. And for the record, when I say RAN, I mean, RAN THE WHOLE F-N THING. The waterstop stops probably didn't even total 5 full minutes and we did the whole thing in 3:52 (woohoo). Our half marathon time was about 2:23 (I think)-- so we are on pace for a pretty solid time this year. I am so excited for that moment when Kristina and I cross that finish line - it will be such an amazing feeling - and doing it in our home town - with our friends and family there to cheer us on! :)

The run itself this weekend hurt like hell -- well, at least the end did. The first 14 miles were great - we were freaking flying. Kristina has the most amazing watch that will tell the pace that you are keeping -- and so we are able to make sure that we aren't going too fast. I know that we were trying to average 11 minute miles but the first 10 miles we were going between 10:15 and 10:30, but it felt good so we just let it happen.

We have these speakers that I keep on my water belt that really makes the time pass -- we've had them since the 15 mile run -- and they are AMAZING and really keep people entertained on the course... which is something that we are really, really good at. Not trying to toot our own horn, but we truly are nothing but a good time out there. We may not be the fastest folks, but we certainly have the most fun while running. Between the speakers, the heads and our AMAZING bedazzled (well technically they aren't bedazzled) visors, we really do bring a smile to peoples faces when they pass us. Or maybe it is just my horrible dancing and singing skills that make people smile/laugh. But with all the fun we do bring to the course, it is a little unnerving that during the last 4-5 miles we are all alone on the course, but when we do run past people and they are smiling, it makes us feel good and forget our pain.

Anyway, back to the run, as we passed the 14 mile mark, my hips and knees started to really ache and then got REALLY bad at the end (specifically 17-20). Oh and let me also mention that my right foot was asleep for most of the run - which ALWAYS freaks me out (the whole circulation thing is a killer). Honestly, I would have probably just walked off the course and called a cab had it not been for Kristina. She was amazing. She knew that I needed help and she was able to get past all the negative thoughts in my head and keep me moving forward. I would NOT have finished if it wasn't for her. She made me kept going and I am SO lucky to have her with me. She is such an amazing friend and person - and I can't believe how lucky I am to have her with me every step of the way. It really was her who got me to finish those last 5 miles.

The course itself was pretty good - we had it broken up into four 5-mile increments, which made it easier for us to deal with. The first half was great - it was really that fourth quarter that was killer! :) But we did it and that is all that matters. Oh and I can't forget to mention that in the home stretch, Mickey was there to run us in. And in the last few yards, they both grabbed my hands to run in, and it meant more to me than anything. Knowing that he stood out there for about a hour after he finished to run not just us, but EVERYONE in, just says what a great guy he is. He is truly one of those people that come into your life and you just want to let everyone have a little piece of him because he is so great! Both him and Kristina have quickly become such great friends to me, I just don't know what my life was like before them! :)

Now that we have the long runs out of our way, the last thing that we have left to do is taper down and finish the run! I am excited about it and I know that we are going to have a blast during the actual race and I am excited for it to get here. And knowing that it isn't the end also helps -- knowing that I am going to be traveling to Nashville again and only running 13.1 will be great -- so I can really experience the town again. Kristina is making the trip with me too, so I know it will be SUPER fun the whole time!!! :)

I can't post without an update on fundraising - I have officially reached my minimum! :) I am very excited about that! BUT I still have my PERSONAL goal of $3000, which I am still about $800 away from... so if you haven't already, please donate. I sold tshirts to the team and raised about $160 from that, so I am happy with that, and I am selling my amazing visor decorating skills for $25 per visor (and $50 for a singlet) -- with all the profits going to TNT. I am not sure how many of those we will sell, but we will see!

Well as the time ticks down to the first race, I will continue to post and let all the millions of readers that I know follow this blog know how I am feeling... hahahaha

Anyway, thanks for reading and thank you for your support! :)

GO TEAM!


http://pages.teamintraining.org/nca/cmc09/sperry

HO FIRE SALE!

HO FIRE SALE!
ATTENTION!
HO FIRE SALE!
ONE WEEK ONLY!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ONE WEEK ONLY --

FROM 2/20 UNTIL 2/28 THE HO WILL BE ON FIRESALE FOR THE LOW COST DONATION OF $150.

YES YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST - $150 WILL GET YOU RIGHTS TO THE HO FOR ONE OF THE TWO RACES (your choice of the National Marathon or the Nashville Country Music Half) --

NOWHERE ELSE WILL YOU FIND A HO THAT CHEAP AND FOR SUCH A GOOD CAUSE!

DONATE HERE AND BE SURE TO MENTION THAT YOU ARE PURCHASING THE HO!

http://pages.teamintraining.org/nca/cmc09/sperry

For those of you that are not aware, 10 years ago, I had a blood clot in my right leg, almost killed me (they brought in a preist -- no joke), and in the ICU for 10 days... They said I would never swim, or run again... OBVIOUSLY I have proved them wrong.

One of the main reasons why I so proud to be a part of TNT is because they helped me overcome one of the things that I was told I would NEVER be able to accomplish -- running a marathon. Because of this, I do have very little circulation in my right leg and wear a support ho (hose is pural, therefor, it is my ho) to help with circulation.

What I am doing is auctioning off rights to the HO on marathon day. You will be allowed to write and decorate whatever you want on the ho for the day of the marathon (within reason). After the race, I will then present you with your HO, as a special token of your donation.

I mean, who doesn't want one of my HO's?

ONE WEEK ONLY - $150 GETS YOU RIGHTS TO THE HO FOR ONE OF THE TWO RACES! ACT NOW - THIS HO IS BOUND TO GO FAST!

http://pages.teamintraining.org/nca/cmc09/sperry

WIN SAM WIN

This week was a BIG week that was culminated by a BIG day. We had our 18 miler yesterday out in Reston and before even BEGINNING to talk about the run, I have to give a HUGE shout out to Kristina, for whom I would not have finished without. She was AMAZING not only ALL week, but also through out the whole run. ALSO-  a big shout out to CINDY for giving me the love and reading my blog! :) 

Now for the rest of the story. For those that have read through the whole blog, including last year's marathon story, you will know and understand the significance of the "Win Sam Win" shirt. In addition, for those that know what I have been through in my personal life over the past year, understand and know that one of the (many) things that I did not keep after Tom dumped me was the shirt- - and the only, ONLY, ONLLLYY (can I express this again) thing that I have want(ed) back was my shirt.

It was a VERY emotional decision for me, but as my time with TNT this season progressed, it became more and more clear to me that the accomplishment of finishing the marathon was not something that could, should or WOULD be taken away from me by Tom.  Through the break up, one of the things that hurt the most that was that I felt that the accomplishment of the marathon was taken away from me... that "I wouldn't have been able to finish the marathon without him" Well - one thing I will not disregard is the amount of support and devotion that he showed to me. BUT in that same breath, I was the one running. I was the one at the trainings. And I was the one that crossed the finish line. It was ME. I RAN. Not him. And although it has taken me a long time and a lot of good friends, I know that it was my accomplishment, not his and even though he may have given me that shirt, I was the one that did it.

So, as I started out this week, I asked Aubrey to help get the shirt back. I was nervous to have it back and as I held it in my hands for the first time, I wanted to throw up. I really didn't know what to do... But, we had a Rocky I and Rocky II viewing on Friday before the run and as I looked around at Mickey, Kristina, Kristin, Charlie, Jedi, Lindsay and Robert -- and watching the movies and sharing with them MY inspiration -- and realizing that these people were my team, my friends, my family -- and that this shirt didn't represent our relationship and him giving it to me - but it represented ME and what I CAN (and will) accomplish. He may have given me the shirt, but he doesn't OWN the significance of it. 

On Saturday morning, I put the shirt on, again with the feeling of barfing, but as I got to the run -- about 10 miles in, at the second or third water stop, I realized, with the help of Kristina, that I own the shirt. It is mine. 

I won't go into the details of all the miles -- although we did see a butt crack from a biker, do some dancing, see Jason Taylor and a few other things...Anyway...

Last year, when I finished my 20 miler,  Tom was waiting at the end. This 18 miler, which sucked WAYYY more than the 20 miler last year, I had Mickey waiting at the end and Kristina by my side - both which meant the world to me. Mickey knew what I was feeling (and Kristina was feeling it with me, argggg). Mickey had been finished FOREVER -- but knowing that there was someone who GOT it -- someone who felt just as crappy as we did at that point at the end helped us get to that DAMN stop sign.  And he was there because he WANTED to be - not because there was an obligation to be. There is a HUGE difference between WANT and NEED.

So - with all this said- I guess the lesson learned is that I will WIN. I can WIN. And NOBODY, will EVER be able to take this season, or ANY season away from me. This season has taught me the value of friendship and the value of believing in yourself and the value of a team. There is nothing better than running and feeling like death and having someone run by and say - Come on Sam - you can DO It. GO TEAM! 

I know we are out there to save lives -- but I never thought that doing Team in Training would actually be the thing to save me... so thank you to TNT for bringing me back. 

WIN, SAM, WIN. 

Keep on Movin' on...

I think that "Keep on moving on" is a good theme for my life and what is going on with it. With each obstacle that I find myself up against, I just keep on moving on. And in that same breath, with each Saturday and each run, I just keep on movin' on... and the miles keep on going up.

In the last week, I have closed on a house, packed up my old place (sort of), moved, finally found closure in something that changed my life (pat on the back for that), finished the last week of JANUARY at work - and continued my training. Although I have been stressed out (who wouldn't be!?), the one thing that is not stressing me out is Team in Training.

Training for this marathon is a totally different than last year. I am having such a good time with the AMAZING friends that I have made and I know what to expect from my body and I have learned how to take care of myself and train. I have more support than I ever would have expected and I have made friends that I know will last a lifetime.

On the note of support, I had a great crew of people who helped me through the marathon last year and I can not, by any means, take away from what they contributed or how much they helped me in crossing the finish. However, this year, it is totally different. Nobody is supporting me through this out of obligation. They are supporting me because they WANT to -- they are people who have a common interest -- finishing the marathon and raising money for LLS... and they have quickly become amazing, fun and great friends. Before starting TNT, I was in a massive funk - -everyone knew that. But through this experience this year, I have found myself again and I finally feel like the old Sam... Fun Sam. :)

Soooo with all that said, a HUGE thank you to Kristina, for helping me run and finish all those miles this weekend and keeping me smiling, laughing and (sadly) singing. You are AMAZING and I am SOOOOOOOOOO thankful for you. And Mickey - even though you didn't bring me a milkshake, you are amazing and I am so happy you are my bff. :)

AAH - Sorry!

So I know I haven't posted in a while -- and WOW, so much has happened. Let's start with two weeks ago when we ran 12 (YES 12) Miles in 12 DEGREE WEATHER.

Yes, you read that correctly. We ran 12 miles in 12 degree weather. It was FREAKING FREEZING.

It was actually about 5 degrees when we started out and then "warmed" up to about 12 by the time we were finished. Thankfully I had a wonderful running partner that got me through it and kept me moving! :) The best part is - I have never eaten a burger that has tasted sooo good (and the beer was just toooo good too).

This past weekend we did 10 (no biggie!) and it was out at Pierce Mill, which might be the most beautiful run that we have.

This weekend we are bumping it up to 15, which reminds me of last year's run in the POURING rain which BLEW ass. Last year's 16 was hands down the worst run I had... I remember it... arg. Hopefully we will have some better weather this year.

Regardless, the training is a much more positive experience than I had last year. Not only do I feel as if I have better support -- my teammates RULE -- but I also FEEL better while training. I know what to expect and I am enjoying it so much more. I actually look FORWARD to the runs.

AND you know things are better than last year when you WANT to go out (and dance all night long like a FOOL) rather than sit at home and do nothing.

After the run this weekend, we had a bunch of TNT'rs over to my house (WOOT WOOT to my house) and then we went out to the Legwarmers concert... it was so much fun!!! It just solidified that these people are not just TEAMMATES, but friends -- and it makes me look forward to everything associated with TNT.

Anyway - along with training, things are crazy in my world -- moving, working, traveling and TRAINING -- I will try to do a better job of posting.

:) GO TEAMMM!

WHY we do this.

Well it's about time for an update... Things are moving along. I can't BELIEVE the marathon is only 8 weeks out -- and I am not going to lie - I am FREAKING out. With everything going on in my life right now I have no idea how I am going to do this. Oh and the CMM half... (I am now doing the National Full and the CMM half so I can support all my teammates!! GO TEAM!) I am blessed and thankful to have the amazing support that I do - not only through this marathon, but in all aspects of my life. 

Work is CRAZY (hello, January is our SuperBowl!), I am closing on my house in 10 days, moving in 12, I just planned an amazing trip coming up in Feb (yipee- but in the middle of the season?!?!?!?!? Oh wait, I know the reason) and then of course, the marathon, I am slightly overwhelmed, and feeling a little bit... er, distressed. 

Saturday was a tough day for running - I felt like crap the whole time - I just couldn't get my legs to move in the right direction... but then we had our honored teammate picnic and I had an amazing talk with Michele, which helped turn me around and got me moving in the right direction. 

At the honored teammate picnic, I was reminded WHY we are doing this and WHY we wake up in the morning to run. At the picnic (which wasn't actually a picnic), our honored teammates had the chance to get up and speak about their experience with blood cancer... my team's teammate (sounds funny) got up and told her story and it really hit me hard. She is about my age, and she was diagnosed her senior year of college and didn't get a diagnosis for a long time -- it wasn't a misdiagnosis, but they were telling her that other things were wrong (humm, sound familiar? Throwing up blood = depression according to the ECU doctors...). When she spoke of her frustration for being sick and all she wanted was to feel better - I understood -- I got it - I was there.... not in the same way with the same diagnosis, but when I was sick, ALL I wanted was my life back. All I wanted was to swim and feel normal.  

Although our stories are not the same (cancer/blood clot) the things she said hit home. She was stubborn just like me, she went through this horrific experience and came out stronger than she was before. 

Hearing her story and then having her stand up in front of a room of 200 strangers and say "thank you for what you are doing. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you" really made me realize that we ARE saving lives. This does make a difference. 

Each and every dollar that is donated goes to save someone like her. Or save somebody's father. Or somebody's 3 year old daughter. These are REAL people that we are helping, and everyday that I feel like crap or have a bad run, it is because of them that I am doing this. Yes, I do it for myself to accomplish something I never thought I could, but more so, it is that I do it so others have a chance to live their life. To accomplish their goals. To finish their own marathons. To give them a CHANCE. 

I don't know -- that along with Michele's motivational speech to me on the same day, made me run again on Sunday - and granted, I didn't feel great, but my spirit was lifted and I felt BETTER. As we prepare for this weekend's run, I know that as I am struggling and wondering WHY... this will pop in my head and remind me.