I should have written about this a while ago, but I got caught up and I am finally able to sit to write some of it down. There is more about how and why I got to do this, but that isn't the point of this post. A couple of months ago, I did something that I never thought I would do. I did something that has totally changed my life the way diving did a year ago and I was able to open a new door and chapter to my life. I took myself totally out of my comfort zone and traveled by myself, to Maui for a week. Yes - Maui. BY MYSELF.
I love to travel - that is obvious, but I've always traveled with others - either friends or for dive trips - and I never thought I would a) want to travel by myself or b) be strong enough as a person to do it - and I can say, that it was hands down, the best vacation of my life. I was able to not only take myself out of my comfort zone, but I learned so much about myself, how strong I can be and how lucky I am to have such a good life. I challenged myself and ended up having the time of my life - including the Best Day Of My Life (I'll post about that later).
Anyway - I went to Maui for seven days - I used my airfare from the Bonaire trip (which I had to cancel because of my new job) and researched for a few weeks where I wanted to go. I landed on Maui because I knew I wanted someplace tropical, but I didn't want the Caribbean (which I "can do anytime" - ok not really but its closer than hawaii). I was nervous to go international so I ended up with Maui since it's not a place I can go all the time.
I've been lucky enough to go to Honolulu twice - once on with Wake Forest and once with Kris before my 30th birthday (which was also AMAZING). I know how beautiful it is, but I've never been anywhere other than that island. I've had friends who've been to Maui and I heard the diving was incredible so I booked a ticket and got on a plane to the Pacific.
With the trip, I knew I wanted to do some diving, but I didn't want it to own the trip. I can travel with TDS anytime on a strictly diving trip - and I wanted to relax, recharge and lay out. Shit - it was my trip, so I figured that I could pick what and how I wanted to do it!
I planed the trip so I would have at LEAST three days of diving - and I researched dive operators and came across Ed Robinson's, which caters to a more advanced diver. I wanted an operator with a good reputation, and that was not overwhelmed with tourists, and/or beginners. I wanted to be able to explore and challenge myself in diving - but also to be able to enjoy my experience in Maui. And I was lucky enough to find Ed and his crew, which was hands down the best operator I've dove with. The staff was top notch, the dives were great and it was nice to challenge myself.
While I was in Maui, I rented a car and upgraded to a Jeep - I mean hell, why not, right? I spent the first day just cruising the island, heading to the higher altitude areas prior to my diving. I hiked to a waterfall, drove to a couple of beaches and just hung out. I did some snorkeling for a hot minute but then I remembered that was boring and ended up laying out again. Regardless, it was a good day.
The next three days (which actually turned into four - I added another day of diving on last minute) were my scheduled dive days and it was amazing. I would dive in the morning and then pick out a beach while I was on the boat and then lay out in the sun during the afternoons. When I say "picked out a beach" - I literally would pick a beach - I would see a beach on the shoreline and say to one of the crew - "hey I want to go there" and they would give me directions and off I would go. It was perfect.
The diving was SPECTACULAR - I saw, and played with my first octopus (AMAZING - I loved him and my obsession is now running deeper than ever), hung out with a pair of manta rays (!!!), dominated the drift dive and saw a whole different world from what I am use to on the East Coast. It was simply amazing.
During the afternoons, I hung out on the beaches, read, and then went to dinner while enjoying the sunsets. I thought going into it, I would be lonely, or sad, but it was just the opposite. I was able to do whatever I wanted to do, without having to answer to anyone else. I was able to decide what I wanted without making concessions for others. And yes, I know that it sounds selfish, but it gave me a sense of individuality. I was able to learn that it is okay to be independent. It was nice to set my own schedule and kind of just do whatever I wanted.
It's very hard to explain -- I feel like a lot of my life I have thought that I need to live by "the rules" - go to school, don't skip class, go to swim practice, work hard, do your best, graduate, work, etc - and along those lines for almost all of my friends it has ended up as "get married and have kids". Obviously I haven't followed that line and it was one of my biggest insecurities - but with this trip, I realized that it is okay. It's my life - and it's gonna be a good life.
I learned by traveling on my own that it is MY life and it isn't about finding someone else to love you, it is about loving yourself. I was able to realize that, just because "its just me" - that's really all I need! Don't get me wrong, I think I would be happy to be swept off my feet and find my prince charming, but I am totally okay if it doesn't happen. I finally found that happiness all on my own and it's pretty sweet being able to just pick up and do whatever and to be living MY life. That trip made me so much stronger and I can honestly say that I have NO problems traveling on my own again - and I can't WAIT to do it again. (It's funny because I went on a trip to the Bahamas a week or so after and it was with 19 people from TDS and I had a blast, but it was a totally different experience in itself and it was good to have that comparison so closely to one another)
As silly as it may sound, I spent my whole life wishing on stars (what girl doesn't) - and I would wish to "fall in love" - but as I was driving down to the dock one morning in Maui I realized that I was lucky enough to have that happen to me already - Yes, this is ridiculously cheesy and I kind of throw up in my mouth while saying this, but I fell in love with diving, which has in turn taught me to love and be proud of myself. Not cheesy, cocky, arrogant Sam proud that most people see, but a true and genuine, with no insecurities pride for myself, one that I don't show very often - and that, is enough to make, and keep me happy.
